so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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