where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
