butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
