Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize