I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
