Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
