You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i drank out of a bidet.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
