i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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