I must be too annoying 4 u.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
