they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
PANTIES FOUND
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