Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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