there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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