I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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