I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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