i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
