I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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