Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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