i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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