Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
