That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize