Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Randomize
