So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
