Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
