i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
