just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i drank out of a bidet.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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