2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
