pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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