Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
What a dumb baby whore.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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