the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
