Me too!
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
