Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
