some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
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Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
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His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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