Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
