What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
