you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It's never too late to be topless.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
