I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
