and my herpes radar will keep us safe
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
