I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
