my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
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