No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Randomize
