you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
