when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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