apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
It's blow job season.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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