That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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