Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
