Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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