Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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