just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
