so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
