I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
