Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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