Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
