why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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