I could have mohawked her pubes.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
