I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Randomize
