I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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