I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Randomize