So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
