we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I love having hate sex.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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