Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
